Beautiful Jokes
Tu mere dil mein aise samaayi hai Jaise baajre ke khet mein bhains ghus aayi hai
socha ttha har modh par tumhara saath denge, socha ttha har modh par tumhara saath denge, par kya kare kambakhat sadak hi sidhi nikli
Shaadi se pehle... Dil chahta hai ki Taj Mahal banaun par Mumtaaz nahi milti Shaadi ke baad... Dil chahta hai ki taj Mahal banaun par Mumtaaz nahi marti!
Wo aye hamari kabar par diya bujha ke chal diye, Wo aaye humari kabar par diya bujha ke chal diye, Diye mein jitna tel tha... Sar par laga kar chal diye
Q: What is height of Secrecy? A: Offering blank visiting cards.
Q: What is height of Stupidity? A: A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door
One day Jaganbhai meets Kantibhai while shopping at the mall and sees he has a small gift wrapped box. “It’s my wife Rupaben birthday tomorrow.” Kantibhai said. “Last week I asked her what she wanted for her birthday.” “And???” Jaganbhai asked. “Well, she said ‘Oh, I don't know - just give me something with diamonds in it”. “So, what did you get her?” asked Jaganbhai. Kantibhai replies, “I bought her a deck of cards!”
How was wire invented? Two marwaris spotted the same coin.
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932 - The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. "I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. "The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37." "And that's how you built an empire?" the boy asked. "Heavens, no!" the man replied. "Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."
Four hightech sardar inventions: -Waterproof towel -Solar powered torch -Book on how to read -Pedal powered wheel chair.
Ek dost ne sardar se poocha "Yaar tu hamesha foreign channel kyun dekhta rehta hai?" Sardar : "Yaar kuch bijli unki bhi kharcha hone do."
Santa: I am a proud sardar, my son is in medical college. Banta: Really? What is he studying? Santa: He is not studying. They are studying him.
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that? Santa: Tipu's skeleton. Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it? Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was a child
Interviewer : Just imagine you are on the 3rd floor and it caught fire. How do you think will you escape? Santa : It's simple. I will stop my imagination!
Santa was busy removing a wheel from his auto. Banta asks: Why are you removing a wheel from your auto? Santa: Can't you read 'Parking for two wheelers only'. Teacher to Santa: "Where were you born? Santa: In Tiruvanantapuram. Teacher: Spell it? Santa: (after thinking) I think I was born in Goa .
Santa : 'Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?' Banta : 'Yes, I have' Santa : 'Well, my father dug it.' Banta : 'That's nothing, have you ever heard of Dead sea?' Santa : 'Yes, I have.' Banta : 'Well, my father killed it.'
Mrs Kartar had bought a beautiful sweater for her husband. She sent it to her husband by parcel post along with a note. The note said: ' The buttons of the sweater are removed since they where too heavy and added to the postage . You will find them in the right hand pocket of the sweater.
Avtar and Kartar used to stay in same building. Avtar on the ground floor and Kartar on the 25th floor. One day when the lift was not working, Kartar invited Avtar for a Dinner. Avtar trudged up to 25th floor to find Kartar's flat closed from outside and had a note which read: ' How did you enjoy your dinner? ' Not to be outdone , Avtar wrote under it , ' Sorry , I could not make it.'
Santa and Banta were looking at mummy in an Egyptian museum Santa: Bechara! pattiyan hi pattiyan lagi hain... Kitne chotein lagi hain isko.. Zaroor truck accident mein mara hoga... Banta: haan, truck ka number bhi likha hai :- A.D. 1460 Ek truck doosre truck ko kheench raha tha. Dekh kar sardarji haskar lotpot hoke gir pade aur bole: Ek rassi ka tukda uthane ke liye 2-2 truck
A family in Gujarat was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother (Ba) arrived from the US. It was sent by one of the daughters. The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it when they opened the lid; they found a letter on top addressed to her brothers and sisters: Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Smitaben and Varsha , I am sending Ba's body to you, since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in Gujarat. Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leave is consumed. You will find inside the coffin, under Ba's body, cans of cheese, 10 packets of Tobler chocolates and 8 packets of Badam (peanuts) please divide these among all of you. On Ba's feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes (size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha's and Lakshmi's sons. Hope the sizes are correct. Ba is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mohan. Just distribute the rest among yourselves. The 2 new Jeans that Ba is wearing are for the boys. The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Ba's left wrist. Shanta masi, Ba is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take them off her. The 6 white cotton socks that Ba is wearing must be divided among my nephews. Please distribute all these fairly. Love Smita. PS : If anything more required let me know soon as Bapuji is also not feeling too well now a days.
Source: shubhamk
socha ttha har modh par tumhara saath denge, socha ttha har modh par tumhara saath denge, par kya kare kambakhat sadak hi sidhi nikli
Shaadi se pehle... Dil chahta hai ki Taj Mahal banaun par Mumtaaz nahi milti Shaadi ke baad... Dil chahta hai ki taj Mahal banaun par Mumtaaz nahi marti!
Wo aye hamari kabar par diya bujha ke chal diye, Wo aaye humari kabar par diya bujha ke chal diye, Diye mein jitna tel tha... Sar par laga kar chal diye
Q: What is height of Secrecy? A: Offering blank visiting cards.
Q: What is height of Stupidity? A: A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door
One day Jaganbhai meets Kantibhai while shopping at the mall and sees he has a small gift wrapped box. “It’s my wife Rupaben birthday tomorrow.” Kantibhai said. “Last week I asked her what she wanted for her birthday.” “And???” Jaganbhai asked. “Well, she said ‘Oh, I don't know - just give me something with diamonds in it”. “So, what did you get her?” asked Jaganbhai. Kantibhai replies, “I bought her a deck of cards!”
How was wire invented? Two marwaris spotted the same coin.
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932 - The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. "I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. "The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37." "And that's how you built an empire?" the boy asked. "Heavens, no!" the man replied. "Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."
Four hightech sardar inventions: -Waterproof towel -Solar powered torch -Book on how to read -Pedal powered wheel chair.
Ek dost ne sardar se poocha "Yaar tu hamesha foreign channel kyun dekhta rehta hai?" Sardar : "Yaar kuch bijli unki bhi kharcha hone do."
Santa: I am a proud sardar, my son is in medical college. Banta: Really? What is he studying? Santa: He is not studying. They are studying him.
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that? Santa: Tipu's skeleton. Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it? Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was a child
Interviewer : Just imagine you are on the 3rd floor and it caught fire. How do you think will you escape? Santa : It's simple. I will stop my imagination!
Santa was busy removing a wheel from his auto. Banta asks: Why are you removing a wheel from your auto? Santa: Can't you read 'Parking for two wheelers only'. Teacher to Santa: "Where were you born? Santa: In Tiruvanantapuram. Teacher: Spell it? Santa: (after thinking) I think I was born in Goa .
Santa : 'Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?' Banta : 'Yes, I have' Santa : 'Well, my father dug it.' Banta : 'That's nothing, have you ever heard of Dead sea?' Santa : 'Yes, I have.' Banta : 'Well, my father killed it.'
Mrs Kartar had bought a beautiful sweater for her husband. She sent it to her husband by parcel post along with a note. The note said: ' The buttons of the sweater are removed since they where too heavy and added to the postage . You will find them in the right hand pocket of the sweater.
Avtar and Kartar used to stay in same building. Avtar on the ground floor and Kartar on the 25th floor. One day when the lift was not working, Kartar invited Avtar for a Dinner. Avtar trudged up to 25th floor to find Kartar's flat closed from outside and had a note which read: ' How did you enjoy your dinner? ' Not to be outdone , Avtar wrote under it , ' Sorry , I could not make it.'
Santa and Banta were looking at mummy in an Egyptian museum Santa: Bechara! pattiyan hi pattiyan lagi hain... Kitne chotein lagi hain isko.. Zaroor truck accident mein mara hoga... Banta: haan, truck ka number bhi likha hai :- A.D. 1460 Ek truck doosre truck ko kheench raha tha. Dekh kar sardarji haskar lotpot hoke gir pade aur bole: Ek rassi ka tukda uthane ke liye 2-2 truck
A family in Gujarat was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother (Ba) arrived from the US. It was sent by one of the daughters. The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it when they opened the lid; they found a letter on top addressed to her brothers and sisters: Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Smitaben and Varsha , I am sending Ba's body to you, since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in Gujarat. Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leave is consumed. You will find inside the coffin, under Ba's body, cans of cheese, 10 packets of Tobler chocolates and 8 packets of Badam (peanuts) please divide these among all of you. On Ba's feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes (size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha's and Lakshmi's sons. Hope the sizes are correct. Ba is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mohan. Just distribute the rest among yourselves. The 2 new Jeans that Ba is wearing are for the boys. The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Ba's left wrist. Shanta masi, Ba is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take them off her. The 6 white cotton socks that Ba is wearing must be divided among my nephews. Please distribute all these fairly. Love Smita. PS : If anything more required let me know soon as Bapuji is also not feeling too well now a days.
Source: shubhamk
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